Please rate and comment my poem?

In A Land Without Time

In a land without time, no clocks and no watches;
Would you ever be early, could you ever be late?
In a land without time, no clocks and no watches;
Could the bus always be there, would you ever have to wait?
In a land without time, no days, months or years;
Could you ever get older, would you always be a kid?
In a land without time, no days, months or years;
Could an auction ever close, would you ever have to bid?
In a land without time, no seasons, no semesters;
Could it ever get hot, would it ever be cool?
In a land without time, no seasons, no semesters;
Would you ever have to work, could you ever go to school?
In a land without time, no calendars and no schedules;
Could you ever look back, would you ever plan ahead?
In a land without time, no calendars and no schedules;
Could you really be living, would you ever be dead?

Please rate and comment this. I appreciate all criqtiques and criticism.

Thanks

Whoa! I like this. May I suggest you Restructure it so it flows easier for the reader ……..such as:

In A Land Without Time

In a land without time,
No clock and no watches;
Would you ever be early,
Could you ever be late?

In a land without time,
No clocks and no watches;
Could the bus always be there,
Would you ever have to wait?

In a land without time,
No days months or years;
Could you ever get older,
Would you always be a kid?

In a land without time,
No days, months or years;
Could an auction ever close
Would you ever have to bid?

In a land without time,
No seasons, no semesters;
Could it ever get hot,
Would it ever be cool?

In a land without time,
No seasons, no semesters;
Would you ever have to work,
Could you ever go to school?

In a land without time,
No calendars and no schedules;
Could you ever look back,
Would you ever plan ahead?

In a land without time,
No calendars and no schedules;
Could you really be living,
Would you ever be dead?

______________________________________

This is really quite good. I think this piece really has a lot to say and think about. I find it stimulating and it’s obvious you’ve done your homework with line choices and punctuation and thought about each stanza. With this much repetition, it would be so easy to slip into forced rhyming but this doesn’t do that. Each stanza has something different to think about in the context of the point you are making. I’d rate this between an 8 and a 10!
Definitely a keeper.

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